Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
