How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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