I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Green mimosas i think yes
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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