I will die if light touches me.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
send nudes
from the living room?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
