I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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