You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
