Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
