You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
