No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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