so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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