Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
