U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
