is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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