You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
