OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
What a dumb baby whore.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
