Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
