we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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