Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize