Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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