Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
