Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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