isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize