my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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