Define "chronic" masturbator.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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