she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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