I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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