We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize