I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize
