Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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