She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize