So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
whose parrot is this?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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