I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
