so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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