...so i touched it.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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