Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
