I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize