im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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