also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize