You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
