So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize