That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
