So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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