i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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