my mouth tastes like poor choices
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Semen is not good for contacts.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
