just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I could make wine with my vomit
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
