That's intense
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
