yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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