a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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