you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize