Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
