My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
