My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
