oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
