his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
