I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
There r osticjed everywhere
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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