Sponge bath it is.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
