So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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