Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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