Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
