I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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