I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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