No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
