Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
