i don't want you to think of me as your TA
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize