Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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