felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
