did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
